Debate for Peace

I find myself saying I’m stressed most of the time. It’s a word I use to express myself whenever anyone asks me how I’m feeling and I don’t feel like going into details with my emotions.

However, during the last few weeks I learned what stress really means to me. Stress is a heart that’s aching, crying out and dying. It’s being overwhelmed and being under a lot of pressure but still not knowing what to do – how to handle it. It’s not being able to sleep because youare overthinking every little thing that comes into your mind. It’s a pain that is so hard to get rid of and seems to linger around. 

I’m stressing over things no teenager should stress over. I’m stressing over things like wanting to do my absolute best and never stop because I’m alive and I’m in good health. I can’t take being alive for granted because I have the chance to achieve my dreams unlike those many children who have been unfortunately killed before their dreams could be fulfilled. They each had dreams and goals and some of their dreams might have been better than mine, I will never know. 

I can’t stop thinking how they might have become something big in this evil world and how we let these children down and made them face consequences they aren’t involved in. I can’t stop stressing over the fact that I can’t fail them again in the future, that is if they are able to survive.

I stress so much over the fact that my parents can get fired for saying anything that expresses how they feel and I stress because my sister might get kicked out of college because of her nationality and identity. I stress over losing one of my friends that’s fighting for their lives right now. I stress because of my worry and pain that control my thoughts all day every day. I stress I stress I stress.

I’m stuck between my thoughts and reality. I’m lost. I’m trying to find a way out but yet every door seems closed and I’m suffocating and I’m scared. So scared. I didn’t choose where to be born. I didn’t choose what nationality my ancestors should have. I didn’t choose this life but yet I’m still handling it well…I think. It’s good and It’sbad and although it’s killing me from the inside I wouldn’t trade my nationality for the world because my people have faith, my people know life. My people will never give up.