It was late in the night, probably Saturday, but he had already stopped counting, it wasn’t important anyways. It’s not like he had any appointment worthy of remembering, or anyone worth meeting, for that matter. He just had his 28th birthday, but there was no celebration, well to be fair there was, and he even attended but he wasn’t really there. He wanted to end it, he hated every person in it… even those he usually liked. But most of the people who knew him, did not care. All that was important to his so-called friends was that he would show up to work.
To be fair he wasn’t quite emotional, and certainly he did not like showing his emotions, but to miss his state of being you had to be blind, oh no, they all knew but did not care. It was the same every day, he would go to work in the advertisement agency. He would be signing a lot of papers that no one would read, making a few calls to very rich and posh people that usually could not be bothered to answer because they were busy doing… something. Then he would have his lunch, the only good part of his day. After that he usually would go to check on a few of his men who were writing the papers he signed.
Twice a week, sometimes even more he would go to a few of the agency’s offices in different locations. He really wanted to go by car but his boss would only agree to pay for the train ticket, so that’s what he did. In origin he was from some forgotten town in Canada but he moved across the pond around a year or so ago, so he didn’t get used to the traffic moving in the other direction. He really hated that, and any big English city, and the food, he hated everything apart from reading (and his lunch).
One day he got a new destination to travel to, he had to go to Portsmouth for some reason. He really tried to be happy because it was the only city he liked in England. But no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t be happy.
It wasn’t always like that. It only started about a year and a half ago. Before that time he loved all his co-workers and he enjoyed his work even though it was dull. It was the same job but in Canada. As a matter of fact he used to go out every few days. He was always surrounded by people all day long. He liked it, he lived like that for years, since school and college. He had one good friend, a girl around his age, and quite a few acquaintances. Overall, he was quite a social and talkative person.
His good friend who was a tall and thin woman, around 25, who met him in high school and since then they have been together. Even though they were quite different they went to hell and back. He liked going out as often as he could. While she enjoyed the comfort of her own fireplace and most impressive collection of novels. She stayed home because every occasion of the few times she actually went out somehow ended with the police involved. Once she drank too much and hit the barkeep. Another time she almost stabbed a waiter when running to the toilet. But the last time was when she got a bit drunk in an empty bar, (empty except for herself, the salesman, another and another big man whom they did not know but introduced himself as John). That night she messed with some gangster, a friend of this John, who tried to steal a few bucks from the register. The robber did not see her ‘bravery’ in a kind way so he beat her until she lost consciousness… . Later when she gave her deposition at the police station she revealed that she had stolen the gangster’s watch and phone, which contained enough information to arrest about a dozen members. And so she was put under protective custody. But it all changed one day when she was killed, apparently by the gangster or someone in the gang who came to seek revenge.
At first, for a month, the poor salesman just sat at home doing absolutely nothing, but he was lucky enough to be understood, he wanted to be alone. And his friends let him, while constantly checking on him. That was until he decided to try and go back to society; though he changed, it was alright. He started to value his privacy more and he started to take walks just to be alone at night, he tried to be happy, and for a few moments, though brief, he was. He had supportive friends and family, and he even enjoyed his alone time, it was then when he started reading partly in memory of his late friend, and partly as a way of escaping reality.
It was a few months after his friend’s death, when he thought that he might just be okay, and life was as good as it could be under the circumstances. But he wasn’t fine, nor was life. Every little thing drove him to a state of depression, he started crying, he never did before. But then came a point where he just couldn’t stay in his small town in Canada. He just wanted out. so badly he wanted out that he asked for relocation. and so headquarters moved him to Leeds, England.
He, at first thought it would help but very quickly he learnt how wrong he was. It all just got so much worse.
So there he was on a cheap second class seat, going to his favourite city, the one place where he could be happy. It was a long journey, so he was reading, until around six a big bulky man with blue eyes lightly touched his shoulder, saying ‘excuse me?’
‘Yes ?’ he answered.
The man looked at him with his blue eyes and said ‘don’t you remember ? From back in Canada’ After a moment the salesman answered ‘ no, unfortunately i don’t ?’
‘ oh, a pity, i am John Burnton’ the salesman replied ‘ well when i think about it you do look familiar, but i can’t remember where from, how are you anyway?’.
Burnton turned around slightly and said ‘ I am alright, though I cannot say it about you from your look’ ‘ really? You can notice ?!’ jumped the poor salesman, ‘notice?’ laughed Burnton and said, a bit tactlessly
‘Boy, everyone in that train can notice… it’s about that dead friend of yours, right?’
‘Yes it is about her’
‘Well here’s what we will do, when this bloody train will stop I will show you around the city, to my flat and we will have a drink. Though I try not to… it got me in some troubles’ ‘thanks, I would like that. You know my friend always used to get himself in trouble when drinking, funny isn’t it ?’
‘ oh yes, coincidence’ said Burnton ‘ well i have to go now, see you at the station’.
When Burnton left, the salesman remembered his old friend and the pain this caused him made him think that should perhaps skip Mr. Burnton’s opportunity. After all, he could not remember whether he actually knew him or not. At the end he decided to try and meet him after all, and so he did.
After a few hours of walking through the streets of Portsmouth they were almost finished wandering when the salesman felt for the first time in a long year and a half that he was not alone, he grew to like John Burnton. It was already past midnight when Burnton said ‘ here we go to the left and in 15 minutes we will be at my flat’ they entered a dark small street between to car parks when John stopped reached for his overcoat and said ‘ well I would like to apologise to you in advance’ his companion stopped looking utterly confused, ‘well you see mate’ John continued ‘ I never told you where we met. Do you remember that night at the bar with your friend ?’
The salesman’s heart sank for he understood finally where he knew this John from ‘ i’m the friend of the guy your buddy robbed and got into prison, 15 years. And all that for some minor theft. We badly needed the money, you see, so we joined this stupid drug operation, and then your friend came and we became the reason the gang fell. He got into jail, somewhat safe, and I ran for my life. But here it ends, they caught me, it’s me or you, they said. Either I shoot you or they shoot me. I am truly sorry.’
The salesman understood that he would not live for much longer. He tried to beg, but that did not work. Finally he said ‘ you know what is the funny thing here ? Until I met you on the train and since she died there was no one who understood me, no one to be there for me, I was so lonely yet surrounded by people at work, and now in this street ? There is no one for me, yet I do not feel alone. I know I will meet her once more, do what you must, for God’s sake’ at that exact moment a gunshot was heard and the poor salesman fell down to earth cold and bloody, but for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, somehow not alone.