I Wonder: Elif

Over the last two months, a dozen students from three continents met to write and reflect as part of the Writers Matter program. The following piece comes from Elif in Turkey, and is from the “I Wonder” collection.

I wonder,

I wonder If I could be someone else

in the mirror of your eyes.

Erase the lines I’ve drawn with pain.

The warm memories seem to be so cold,

their glow turning into shadows.

a chill settling where the music once lived.

You see me now,

as a headache pulsing in your temples

a cockroach scurrying beneath the light

an itching sweater clinging to skin

I am everything you despise.

It hurts,

the way the sparkles in your eyes 

dim and scatter like ashes

each time I speak.

And I wonder if an old broken record 

once you loved to hear

can ever be more than

something you’d rather throw away.


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